If I Never Knew
by UltimateSorceress
Summary: Squall and Seifer switch lives and Squall gets a glimse of the nightmare Seifer and the Posse live through...when he falls for Fujin...will he give up the past for what he has now? Or will he go back?--Squa-Fuu--
1. In the Eye of the Beholder

**_If I Never Knew You_**  
  
**Chapter One ---- In the Eye of the Beholder  
**  
Squall woke up knowing something horribly wrong would happen. How he knew? He didn't know. He just had the horrible sinking feeling in his stomach telling him something was going to happen and his life would change for the worse. One out of two isn't bad.  
  
Squall got up and walked to his closet only to find that wasn't his room. Those weren't his roommates. Raijin lay snoring softly on the couch and Fujin was sleeping soundlessly on the twin bed next to his. Why in Hyne was he in here? This wasn't possible was it?

Apparently it was. He walked around trying to find the bathroom and once finding it, took a long hot shower, blissfully unaware of the pain that would follow that hot shower. Squall towel dried his hair and stepped out of the steaming bathroom. Fujin stood outside the door, glaring angrily.  
  
"Great! On the day of our SeeD test you take ALL the hot water. You know I _**HATE**_ cold showers! You are rotten you know that?!" She kicked him hard in the shins. He didn't feel it. Fujin could talk?! Normally?! He nearly passed out from shock but Fujin yanked him out of the doorway, slammed the door and got ready.  
  
'SeeD...but I'm already...' Squall realized what had happened. Sort of. He must have, somehow, switched places with Seifer. He desperately wanted his own life back, and his shin to stop hurting, have his own room, be able to glare at the world and hate his own life. How could he hate something that wasn't his? Little did he know, that just the reason he got his life switched.  
  
"Hey Squall, want some coffee, ya know?" Raijin smiled at him and poured a cup. Surprisingly it was good.  
  
"Thanks.' He mumbled and Raijin stared at him.  
  
"No problem, ya know?" Squall shrugged, wondering what in Hyne that was about. But right now he didn't care. He had a SeeD test to worry about.  
  
"Ok class, in order to pass this, you all know the rules. Follow directions and take orders. You have two days to retrieve the prisoner in Trabia._ Without_ getting anything blown up, if possible Squall. Don't screw this up, Headmaster says this is your last chance Leonheart." Quistis was surprisingly cold and snappish. This is what Seifer went through?  
  
"Leonheart, Raijin and...the girl." Fujin snarled and Squall had the oddest sensation to stick up for her.  
  
"She has a name. Use it." He snapped and Quistis' eyes went colder, if possible.  
  
"Shut up before I fail you _**now**_, Leonheart. Save us the trouble though, your going to fail anyways." Squall narrowed his eyes and swore that he would get this mission done and he, Fujin and Raijin would be SeeDs.  
  
"Go!" Now, the details of this mission were unbearably boring and nothing was new for Squall. He didn't blow anything up and he and his 'Posse' followed every order to the letter. They came back noon the next day. Telling you the details would be pointless, as the only important fact was that they completed their test in record time, with the highest scores in the class.  
  
"Now what, _Instructor_?" Icy blue eyes clashed against each other.  
  
"You wait ,Leonheart. You wait and pray to Hyne you made, otherwise, you and you 'little_ posse'_ are out of here." Squall was slightly perturbed that someone could be so cold because of...well, he didn't know why.  
  
So they waited. Fujin paced the room and finally went to the Training Center.  
  
"Why is she pacing?" He asked and Raijin got an odd look on his face.  
  
"You don't remember? Musta got hit hard last week, ya know? Anyways, this is her last chance too, ya know? She kept refusing to become SeeD when you and I didn't, ya know. She'd probably have to go back home, ain't no one wants that, ya know?" Why couldn't Fujin go home? Did she have so much loyalty to a friendship that she would give up something very important to her? Obviously she did. Fujin Kazeno had earned the right to be respected with the other members of SeeD but she turned them down because the Posse was more important to her. Needless to say, Squall was surprised.  
  
They announced the results the next day. Fujin had been on pins and needles all night and hadn't sleep.  
  
"Lela Johnson, Kayla Howard, Squall Leonheart, Raijin Suko, Fujin Kazeno. Congratulations." Quistis' voice held no happiness for them. Surprise, surprise. The SeeD Ball would be held that night and _all_ SeeDs were to attend. Fujin growled and Raijin snickered. She kicked him and stormed off. Squall raised a brow and asked what that was all about.  
  
"I won the bet ,yah know?" Squall didn't. Raijin explained that he'd bet Fujin that they all would make SeeD this time and Fujin didn't think they would.  
  
"So, what did you win?" Raijin snickered and walked off whistling to himself. If Squall had thought Fujin had to do something for Raijin, he was only partially right.  
  
"Fujin, hurry up we'll be late!" Squall yelled. He wasn't up for the stupid ball but it was requirement and he didn't want to face Quistis and the other SeeDs alone. Who knew Seifer had had such a rough time?  
  
"NEGATIVE. LEAVE.COME LATER.WILL SEE. THERE." She yelled back and Seifer sighed as he and Raijin made their way to the ball. Half and hour later, Fujin still was not there and they were passing out awards for making SeeD.  
  
"Fujin Kazeno!...Fujin?" Selphie called, looking around. Fujin was nowhere. The 'award committee' frowned and then smiled when they heard the familiar voice call out.  
  
"HERE." Squall turned and forgot how to breath. Fujin stood at the bottom of the stairs in a blood red dress and heels. You read right. A halter-necked dress with a split up the side of the already short dress. Amazingly, she could actually _walk_ in the 5-inch heels. All the men in the room watched her as she made her way to receive her award. Selphie hugged her and clapped. The announcements were over and the dancing would begin. Fujin sat in a corner, holding the small medal in her pale hands.  
  
"No dancing?" Squall asked, sitting beside her. Fujin gave him a small smile. Her face lit when she smiled and he wished she'd smile more. That was the first smile she'd ever used and Squall got to see it. Seifer had gotten to see those types of smiles all the time, but everyone else got a scowling, unhappy Fujin that they disliked for no reason.  
  
"You know I don't like to dance. Besides, I feel like this dress is going to fall off." She gave a soft laugh and Squall, much to his _own_ surprise, took her hand and pulled her on to the dance floor. Fujin's pretty red eye was a mix of surprise and softness he'd never seen anywhere. Not even in Quistis or Selphie.  
  
"Make an exception. It's a special night." He said softly, pulling her close. He felt a tremor run through her body and he only pulled closer. The song was long and soft, the words couldn't be hear and the tune was hard to discern, but they danced anyway.  
  
"Why don't you leave, Squall? You know you'll never be welcome here." Seifer's voice hissed in his ear. Seifer's green eyes sparked and Fujin narrowed her red orb.  
  
"CARE.NOT.LEAVE.ALONE." Seifer gave her a pouty look.  
  
"No. Does the little one eyed freak wanna be left alone? Why don't you take your---" Seifer never finished. Fujin's fist met his nose, effectively breaking it, and he cried out in pain.  
  
"Stupid----" Squall's fist met his stomach. _No one_ called Fujin that. Why was he defending her? What was wrong with him? She was one of the three people he hated... so,why didn't he hate her?  
  
"Squall! Kazeno! Headmasters, _now_!" Quistis bellowed and they went. Fujin, once out of sight and ear shot, began to laugh uncontrollably.  
  
"That was great! I've always wanted to do that and I finally did! Wow, I feel so much better." She laughed some more and immediately straightened up in Headmasters office.  
  
"What have you two to say?" Cid asked, Edea by his side. She smiled gently at Squall and Fujin. Was Edea the only one who'd stuck up for Seifer and his Posse after the Wars? Was that they only reason they were given a chance to come back?  
  
"SEIFER. SAID THINGS. HURTFUL. ANGER. HIT. NO APOLOGIES." Fujin explained, not giving Squall a chance to get angry.  
  
"Ok, you were provoked. Everyone knows Seifer needs work on his people skills... well, since you two like hitting people so much. I'm assigning you to Disciplinary Committee. Enforce the rules and try not to hurt the students." Edea's approving look told Fujin and Squall that she _**was**_ they only reason they were still in the building and SeeD. Was life always this unfair for them?

Had Squall been the sole cause of their problems? They headed back to the dorm and found Raijin sleeping soundly on the bed next to Squall's. Fujin wanted to kick him off, but she let the lovable ogre sleep and went into the living room, piling the couch with blankets after changing into one of Squall's old t-shirts he'd supposedly given her a year or so ago.  
  
"You can have the bed." He said leaning over the back of the couch. Fujin didn't look up.  
  
"Negative. You sleep. Am fine. Goodnight." and with that she closed her eyes, telling him, rather rudely, the conversation was over. Squall crawled into bed and that night, he wished he'd never gone to sleep at all.  
  
A/n: so what you think? I liked it but Squall's a tad ooc....I can fix that! Hit the review button in the corner and give me ideas!!!! Flamers must have constructive criticism and not just be complaining that Fujin and Squall shouldn't be together...they might be and they might not. SO there! Muwahahah...enough of my ranting...review  
  
! Ultimate!


	2. Reasons

_**If I Never Knew You**_

**Chapter Two-----Reasons**

_Images raged through Squall's mind. Images of the Wars, through Seifer's eyes. The manipulation of Ultimecia, the pain of realizing he'd slaughtered those innocent people when she'd let him out of her mind control. Squall felt the longing Seifer felt. The intense pain of having no one to love and no one who loved in return. He loved Fujin and Raijin but that was different. Squall understood the blonde a little more now. The Wars had made him an even harder man. Life without anyone had made him the arrogant, self-serving jerk Squall thought he was._

_ An image of Fujin, sitting at their usual lunch table, staring off into the crowd, Raijin and Seifer making a comment, earning a blush and a laughing smile from their quiet albino friend. A smile Squall wanted to see again. However, what he saw next, he wished he hadn't._

"_No! Please Mommy, I'll be good, honest!!!" Fujin's small figure hunched in the corner, the sound of strikes against her small body rang in Squall's ears. The raven haired woman yanked her up and growled at her._

_ "You good for nothing little whore! You'll never be good enough! Not for me, not for your father, not for _anyone! _You hear me, you waste of air?! YOU WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH! Never!" The physical and verbal abuse continued on, until the girl was finally left alone, crying in the corner, murmuring to herself._

"_NOT. ENOUGH.NEVER .ENOUGH." The sound of her small, miserable voice made his heart break._

"It's a whole new world isn't it Squall?" The voice asked, the image fading. Everything around Squall seemed real, yet at the same time, completely dreamy.

"Who are you?" The voice laughed and didn't answer, instead, the voice opted to ask another question.

"You've seen a fraction of the pain one of your...recent, comrades has gone through...let's see what _you've _gone through." As the voice and the surroundings faded from Squall's sight he could only imagine the voice meant him as in Seifer.

"_Please let me go...please." Tears trickled from the jade orbs and the cracked skin dripped blood down his cheek. Hands crushed around his arms tighter. Squall felt the pain in his cheek and arms. His entire body felt detached from his mind._

_ "I'll let you go alright you little piece of s---!" The man's voice growled and Seifer's body was dangled over the edge of the bridge. The waters below raced towards the river bend, crashing along the boulders in their path. Seifer stopped trying to struggled and went limp. At that point, he wanted to die. But the man, his father, brought him back to the ground._

"_Your not that lucky, kid. Get in the car, and I don't wanna hear another word from that friggin' mouth of yours, understand." Seifer didn't answer. His father's eyes narrowed and a powerful hand clamped itself around his jaw, pushing his lips out._

_ "Understand?!" Seifer nodded and 'dad' let go, pushing backwards onto his rear. The bruises were already turning blue..._

"Why are you showing me this?" Squall asked quietly once the scene had ended. The voice didn't reply for a while.

"Because, you needed to see it. But that's just part of it...there's more to this Squall. However, you wouldn't be able to handle much more in one night. I will see you again, Squall. Very soon." With that, the voice was gone.

Squall bolted upright in bed. The dream. It made him want to wretch. But he didn't. He felt a tremendous urge to check on Fujin, to make sure she was still alright. _'But she's not alright you idiot...her mother hated her... **beat **her!...How can she be alright?'_ The sleeping form on the couch turned slightly and winced. Squall assumed it was from her dream. What was she dreaming about? That night her mother told her she would never be good enough? Fujin frowned and a small cry escaped her lips and her arms reached up to shield herself from the blows in her dream.

"STOP IT!" She screamed and her eyes snapped open. Squall jumped a little, startled from the exclamation and turned a worried face towards her.

"Are...you ok? I mean-" Fujin slumped back against the arm of the couch and draped an arm over her eyes. After a moment, Squall became aware of the small, choked sobs that escaped her lips and the tears slipping down her face. It tore him up inside. Slowly, he moved to the couch and lifted her up, letting her head rest against his chest. Fujin buried her face in his shirt, ashamed at her lack of control, and sobbed. Squall wrapped one arm around her shoulders and the other around her middle, pulling her closer to the warmth and safety of his arms.

"I was home again...I was nine....and she just keep drinking and yelling...and then I was...I was 12...and...and...oh, Hyne Squall. It was such a bad dream...such a bad dream..." Squall frowned and patted her shoulder, shushing her. What happened when she was 9? 12? What more could she have gone through? What more could have Seifer gone through? Squall though back to the voice in his dream. He would find out soon enough.

Eventually Fujin became aware that she was still clutching his shirt like a little child. Hyne. How she despised appearing weak. It was something her mother had taught her to taught about herself. Among other things. Her mother. God how she _loathed _that despicable excuse for a human being. A hand reached up to her left eye and realized that she didn't have her patch on. She bolted up right and fumbled around in the dark for the patch. Squall looked at her curiously and when her hand closed around the article he grabbed her hand, gently, and looked at her closely. Close enough to make her nervous.

Squall's ice blue eyes focused in on the now exposed left eye. A thin, clean cut scar ran across the violet orb, leaving puffy pink flesh over the healed wound. A broad hand reached out slowly to her face, his thumb brushing her cheek gently, his eyes never leaving hers. Fujin closed her eyes and melted against the warm, comforting contact his hand make with her cheek. The only other contact she'd had was a fist against her face. And the knife. She remembered the day all to clearly. But right now, all she could focus on was the fact that Squall's hand was still caressing her cheek and his other arm was still wrapped around her in a protective embrace.


	3. Mother Dearest

**_If I Never Knew You_**

**Chapter Three Mother Dearest**

Fujin had fallen into a seemingly restful sleep in Squall's arms. However, he couldn't keep the nightmare's away forever, and when they came back, they returned with a vengence.

-----Fujin's Dream of when she was 9-----

_"Father!" The little silver haired girl ran into her Father's arms, hugging him tightly._

_"Hello my little Fujin, did you have fun with mommy?" Fujin's eyes went dark but she nodded._

_"Yes, Mother and I had a lot of fun." Father didn't notice the look and he smiled at her, setting her down on the floor to kiss his wife._

_"Hello dear...what did you and Fujin do today?" Alexandra smiled sweetly and told him that they had gone to the zoo and then out for ice cream. Her husband ruffled the nine-year old's hair._

_"I have to stay at Balamb for the weekend. I thought I would take Fujin to the Garden there and show her how a real Garden works."_

_" I don't know..." Fujin prayed Mother would say yes; she couldn't stand to be without Father for two days. No, she really wouldn't be able to stand._

_"It's only two days Alexandra." Mother smiled and nodded. Father gave her a big kiss and went to take a shower. Once she was sure he was out of hearing, she turned to Fujin._

_"Quite a little treat isn't it, Fujin?" Fujin backed up nodding. Mother pushed her hard and stumbled onto the floor._

_"Enjoy it because when you get back..." A wicked grin lit Mother's beautiful face. "You're going to wish you'd stayed here." Alexandra hissed, slapping the girl soundly. Mother went back into the other room and turned on the T.V._

_" Look Daddy! Real SeeD!" Fujin only called Father Daddy when they were alone. A young SeeD with long black hair turned to smile at Fujin and that smile filled her with a sense of worth. She'd dreamed of becoming a SeeD when she grew up. Fujin's father smiled and patted the girl on the back._

_"Fujin, I want you to meet Seifer, his father is one of my best friends." Father left the two and Fujin smiled, earning a smile from the quiet blonde._

_"I'm Fujin."_

_"Seifer." The two quickly became friends and ran around while their parents finished up business._

_"Fujin, come on honey. We have to go back home." Fujin froze. Home. Mother was Home. And she was waiting._

_---Fujin's Room (12 yrs.)-----_

_Fujin woke up in a cold sweat. She always had that dream, the dream of when she was nine, when something bad was going to happen. Her door flew open and there stood Mother._

_"Get up you brazen little hussy!" Fujin climbed out of bed and followed her Mother into the bathroom. Alexandra turned on the shower, leaving the water horribly cold._

_"Get in. NOW!" Fujin began undressing, but Mother told her to leave her clothes on. So she stood shivering under the cold water for ten minutes before Mother let her get out. Alexandra grabbed Fujin's shoulder hard enough to bruise and marched her outside, into the falling snow._

_"Stand there and don't you dare move. If you so much as squeek you'll wish you were dead, just like I do." The door was slammed shut and Fujin stood. The snow swirled around her and she began to cry. Mother hated her. Father didn't know what his wife did to the 12 year old girl. Shivering uncontrollably, Fujin sank to her knees in the white snow. Silver hair froze in curled icicles and her body became so numb, she wasn't sure if she was alive anymore. The door opened and there stood her Father._

_"My god." He ran outside, swept up the frozen girl and carried into the warm house._

_"How could you do that to her?! She's a little girl, YOUR little girl!" The screaming had been escalating for an hour. Finally when Father screamed this last statement at Alexandra, Alexandra screamed back._

_"That's not my little girl! Look at her! I did it because she needs to be punished! You don't have parents that look like us and look like that freak show in the corner!!" Alexandra's husband stared at her._

_"You're sick. I'm talking her to Balamb and then I'm putting a restraining order on you. You should be in jail...what kind of Mother does that to her child?" Alexandra snapped. She grabbed a kitchen knife off the counter and sank it into her husband's chest. His eyes were wide and disbelieving. Blood stained the front of his shirt and he fell to the floor with a thud. Fujin's red and violet eyes were wide with horror as she screamed._

_"Shut your mouth! GET OVER HERE!!!" Alexandra demanded. Fujin walked over, a sick feeling setteling in._

_"This is your fault! If you had never been born, this would have happened!!! Do you hear me?! THIS IS YOUR FAULT!!!!" Alexandra smacked hard, leaving a stinging red mark on the young girl's face. _Smack, smack. _Fujin begged her Mother to stop._

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'll be good mommy I promise, I'll be good!" But this wasn't enough. The child must pay. Alexandra picked her up by the shirt and threw her into the wall. Fujin struggled to stand while she screamed, for once, back at her Mother._

_"**STOP IT! It's not my fault!!!"**Alexandra narrowed her brown eyes at Fujin, stepping closer. Too close._

_"You flithy little wretch. How _dare _you talk back to me?! This IS your fault and your going to pay for it!" The knife lunged at Fujin. Rolling to one side, she tried to dodge the weapon aimed at her but failed. The blade sunk into the side of her rib cage. Fujin screamed from the pain and stared up at her Mother. Alexandra smiled down at the girl, expecting her to die. But Fujin got up and ran, stumbling out of the house into the snow, leaving a bloody trail in her wake. Alexandra wasn't done, however._

_"Get back here girl! I'm not done with you!!" Fujin couldn't run fast enough and a hand clamped down on her shoulder, spinning her to face Alexandra while her Mother's other hand ripped the knife from her side. The girl screamed for the last time in her life._Smack, smack, smack.

_The knife made for Fujin's head but she ducked, the knife grazing her left eye. Fujin picked herself up and tried to run, anywhere. Just to get away from Mother._

_"I'll find you, Fujin! No matter where you go, I'll _find _you!" Mother called into the night._

_The hospital lights were a welcome sight and Fujin stumbled in the doors, blood slowly falling to the ground. The nurses gasped and rushed to catch her as she collapsed on the floor._

_"Hold on honey, hold on." The world went black._

_a/n: thankees much for the reviews!!!! Keep em coming! Hope you like this chapter..it's short but I'm tired and need to go to bed...will update soon! _

_i Ultimate !_


	4. Different Pieces of the Same Puzzle

_**If I Never Knew You**_

**_Chapter Four ---Different Pieces of the Same Puzzle_**

Squall awoke with a jump at the sound of Fujin's scream. Tears streamed from her eyes and she shook violently. Squall didn't know what to do. The woman who seemed so strong and so isolated from every emotion except anger was now a shaking mass of tears and fright in his arms.

"Talk to me…" He whispered and Fujin understood. He wanted to help her, but she needed to tell him. She'd never told anyone. A large inhaling of breath was heard and Fujin looked at her pale hands.

"I dreamed of the day my Father died. It started the way it always does, the dream in a dream. I was nine, and my father took me to Garden. I was so happy to get away from Mother and I met you there…and for two days I was free from the beatings and the yelling. And then we went home. I woke up in my dream, because…bad things always happen when I have that dream…Mother came in." A pause. Squall could only imagine how hard it was for her to share this. He hated sharing things too.

"She told me to get out of bed and took me to the bathroom and turned on the shower…Mother told me to get in and to keep my clothes on. The water was so cold. She stood there, glaring at me for ten minutes before she took me outside and told me to stand in the snow, I thought I was going to die…I was _hoping _… and then Father found me…the arguing started…the screaming and slamming and breaking glasses…and when he told her he was taking me away… she…she…" Fresh sobs escaped against her will and Squall reached out to hold her, marveling at how easily she fit into his arms.

"She killed him Squall! Right in front of me… she said it was my fault and it was…if I wasn't born, Daddy would still be alive…but then she came after me with the knife…I still have the scars." Fujin ran a delicate finger over her left eye and then moved her hand to trace the three-inch scar on her side.

"She always said she would find me…no matter where I went. But she didn't. I ran to the hospital…and then to you and you helped me get here after your parents died…you've always been there for me…" Fujin looked up at him, a soft look in her features.

"We're different parts of the same puzzle, you and I…and we fit together perfectly. Pain and sorrow made us the best of friends, even though our lives were torn apart…but our puzzle hasn't been put together yet." Fujin's voice faded and Squall wondered what she meant. They fit, they belonged together but…but the picture wasn't finished…what more was there to complete?

-------

Through his viewing scope, Hyne shook his head. So much pain from two young humans. Squall and Fujin couldn't see they needed each other to complete their _puzzle_. But they would. Soon.

-------

_'Our puzzle hasn't been put together yet?! What am I on?!' _Fujin scolded herself. Whatever she was on she was right. The puzzle wasn't finished. But soon it would be. Unfortunately, Hyne had taken and undo interest in the young friends' puzzle and he intended to fix it, whether it needed fixing or not. You see, Hyne is like the goverment. 'If its broken, fix it. If its not, fix it till it is.' And _that _is never a good motto.

The morning dawned bright and clear. As luck would have, Fujin awoke scowling and in a very, very dark mood. Finally Squall just left. He couldn't take it anymore. Of course the fact that Fujin threw her boot at his head,(only missing because he opened the closet door at the right time) screaming at him to get out.

"Today is never a good day, ya know." Squall looked up from the table he had his head on. No, he didn't know.

"Its August 7,ya know. Gets worse around midnight, ya know? He father died today." _'Idio! You should know that!!!!' _He screamed at himself, running towards the training center. He looked around and quickly picked a handful of flowers that smelled and looked good. Bumming a ribbon off Selphie, the little elf with a heart of gold, he knocked on Fujin's door.

"What?!?" She yelled, yanking the door open so hard, Squall thought she might have torn it off its hinges.

"Um...These...These are for you...um...I'm sorry I forgot...uh..." Fujin looked at the flowers curiously, the small grin that crept onto her face unnoticed by Squall. One flower leaned forward and hissed at her attempting to bite her. She laughed.

"Squall..."

"OW! HYNE!!!...Yeah Fuu?" Squall asked, sucking a bleeding finger that the little flower had tried to eat.

"These are snap dragons..." _'I can't even give flowers to my girl...MY girl?! No! Why am I such a mess?' _He thought hanging his head.

"I can't believe you remembered they're my favorite." With that Fujin took the flowers, petting one, recieving a contented purr, and went inside closely followed by Squall.

A.n: Wooooooooo and UPDATE!!!!!!!! Yeyea! My computer ate my last attempt at an update but I remembered most of it....so REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!

i Ultimate!


	5. Facing What's Mine

Chapter Five---Facing What's Mine

It would figure that Squall could only do something right if he _wasn't _trying. This was one of the rare times that he was glad of this. However, he could not explain where the nasty little devil flowers had come from, but Fujin loved them and Squall was extremely relieved. Fujin was seemingly alright for the time being and Squall wanted to keep it that way. Maybe Seifer and his Posse weren't as bad as everyone thought. Fujin was a decent person and well enough to be around, if she wasn't angry. Raijin was a lovable old ogre but Squall would never admit that. So what had made him hate them so much? Squall remembered Seifer and his gang picking on Selphie and the others. Ellone was the peacemaker and while she'd been there, everyone had been friends. But the day she left, everything changed. Seifer didn't want to be friends with anyone who wasn't Fujin or Raijin. Squall hated everyone one and everyone loved Squall. Why?! Squall hadn't done anything to make anyone love him. Hyne, he tried to keep them _out_! But everywhere he went they were _people _and seven of them claimed to be his friends.

The hate that Squall harbored for the Posse grew stagnant and cold. It grew as he did. But for no apparent reason. That is until the Sorceress Wars. Then Squall had hated Seifer and the Posse for nearly destroying the world, hurting thousands of innocents and taking Rinoa. However, if Squall had known then what he knew now, he wouldn't have bothered saving the little wretch and thanked Seifer for taking her off his hands. But of course, like the fool he was, he went and saved her because he thought he was in love. Love. Hah!

But now that he was in Seifer's shoes, he realized Seifer wasn't so bad. And neither was the Posse. In actuality, Squall preferred the closeness of his new group, the true friendship, mutal respect and love they shared, even if Squall wasn't supposed to be in Seifer's shoes. He hated having all those people around him, asking what he thought about this or that and what color the stationary should be. Who gave a flying rabbits foot in a trash heap what the stationary looked like?! Oh wait, he forgot. Rinoa did.

Whatever the reason he hated the Posse then, his chance to reconcile and get to know them was now.

"Squall? Are you ok?" Fujin asked, looking at him with the tiniest hint of concern. Or did she just have something in her eye?

"Of course. You know what Fuu?" Fujin looked at him and he knew she was asking, 'what?'

"Let's go out tonight, there's this club Raij keeps telling me about. Just you and me. Sound alright?" Fujin got a funny little smile on her face and she nodded.

"That's sounds like fun." Squall grinned and went to get ready.

---

"Come on! You've been saying five more minutes for an hour!!" Squall moaned through the bathroom door. Fujin wasn't ready just yet. Squall had been ready for...nearly two hours. It was really rather simple. Black boots, white tank top (even if it was a bit snug wink wink), his black leather pants,(complete with his ridiculous amount of belts) and a new pair of fingerless gloves. Raijin had gotten them for him. Why? He had no idea, but he made a mental note to get him something in return. A girlfriend perhaps.

"I'm almost done...it's this...dress!" Fujin gave an exasperated sigh and flung open the door. Squall stared. That was Fujin? Whoa.

The dress was black, short and strapless. However the neck and sleeves were made of fishnet and where the solid material ended at her mid-thigh,fishnet continued down her knees, wrapping around her legs tightly. Black ,elegant, high heels graced her feet, adding at least four inches to her frame. Squall looked her over once more, throughly impressed.

"My lady." Squall offered her his arm with a grin. She laughed, adjusted the hem of her dress one last time and took his arm.

"Dear sir, shall we?" The two broke down into a small fit of laughter and made their way to the car.

---

"They went where?!" Selphie asked, not believing her ears. Fujin and Squall? Party animals? No way! This was more then an exciting prospect and Selphie really, really, really, really (did we mention **_really _**?) wanted to see this. Especially since Raijin said that Fujin had even gotten all dressed up.

"Oh...hum...well...hey Raij? Ya wanna go to the club with me?" Raijin looked surprised but nodded quickly. Poor little elf didn't know he had a wee crush on her. Selphie squealed and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you! I'll be right back." True to her word, Selphie was back in a flash wearing a pale green dress with matching heels. Raijin's brow raised but he didn't say anything.

"Uh...ya look nice, ya know?" Ok, maybe he did say something. --.

"Thanks, let's go!" Raijin decided it was good that today he'd opted for jeans and a white tank top with a denim shirt over the top. The two left, with only a few stops along the way, telling Rinoa and Quistis what she was going to see. Quistis and Rinoa decided this would be worth seeing,so they would be along later.

However, Rinoa and Quistis did not keep this to themselves. This, was going to end in catastrophe.

---

"How bout a drink?" Squall called over the noise. Fujin nodded, breathing hard. They'd been dancing for an hour straight. They hadn't even known the other could dance. Squall got them a couple waters, remember once that Fujin said she didn't drink. He was right.

"Thank you. This was great." Fujin's smile lit her face and Squall found himself smiling back.

"Ladies and gents, hit the dance floor for the contest!!! First prize...well, you'll just have to wait and see!!" Fujin grinned. She loved dancing and she was _good_. She pulled him to the floor and waited for the music to start.

"Well ain't that cute?" A chilly, albeit high-pitched, voice interuppted their evening. They turned to see Rinao and Quistis.

"You cleaned her up real good Squall. And you don't look so bad yourself. Too bad no one's here to see this. Oh wait, look!" Rinoa stepped to the side and several cameramen began snapping pictures. Fujin turned to glare at Squall. How could he?! Was this his idea of some sick joke?!

"How could you?!" Squall shook his head, his face pale. Why couldn't they just be alone for one night, with out anything horrible happening?

"I didn't, I swear." Fujin turned to Rinoa and Quistis, noticing the others behind them. The cowboy was drooling and Zell was choking down a hotdog. They had nothing to do with this. Fujin advanced on Quistis and Rinoa, glaring savagely.

"I want you. To leave me alone."

"You don't always get what you want." Rinoa told her. Way wrong answer. Fujin's fist met her face. She wasn't worried. The club owner was a good friend and allowed her to beat up whoever she pleased.

"You...! You hit me!!" Rinoa squealed and Fujin was slightly sorry that she hadn't broken the idiots nose. Quistis frowned at her.

"Let's dance. If I win the contest, you leave me alone." Quistis was also a good dancer.

"And if I win?" She asked, eyeing Fujin cautiously. Fujin clenched her fist and turned to look straight back at Squall.

"I leave Garden." Squall's eyes widened and he grabbed her arm, shaking his head.

"No! You can't Fuu!" Fujin wrenched her arm out of his hold and folded them across her chest. Quistis thought it over and nodded.

"Last call for dancers!!" Fujin grabbed Squall and made her way to the center of the floor. Quistis did likewise with Seifer and when the music began to play, they danced with all they had.

---

"This is all my fault, ya know?!" Raijin slapped his forehead and Selphie patted his back. This was her fault. She'd told Rinoa and Quistis, she had to make this right.

"No this is my fault. Look, Rai. I'm really sorry I haven't been very nice to you and the others, but I promise that'll change. You guys aren't as bad as Quis and Rin think. You stay here and cheer them on, I have to go see Headmaster." Selphie gave him a big grin and left.

---

"Cid!!!" Selphie yelled. Cid came out of his office and looked at her curiously.

"Yes, Ms. Tilmitt?"

"If Fujin comes to hand in her request to leave, you can't give it to her!!!!" Cid was confused.

"Why would she do that? Ms. Kazeno is a valuable asset to this school, reguardless of her past actions."

"Because of SeeD. You have no idea how awful they can be and I'm not exactly innocent myself but Quistis and Rinoa...they went to far. I told them that I was going to see Fujin and Squall at the club and they brought reporters. Fujin bashed Rinoa's face in but she told Quistis that if she won, Quis and the others had to leave her alone. If Quis won, Fuj has to leave Garden." Selphie sighed. This was not good.

"Ms. Tilmitt, this is most unacceptable behavior. I think I need to have a little talk with our SeeD's however, if Fujin insists on leaving, I can't stop her. We'll have to hope that she'll make that decision on her own. Maybe Squall will be able to talk her out of it." Selphie certainly hoped so.

---

"Fujin! Fujin wait!" Fujin whirled on Squall with firey eyes. He didn't know his eyes begged her not to look at him with such hate. He didn't know his eyes begged her not do this.

"What?! What can you say?! As much as I want to say this is your fault, it's mine. Mine for following you for all these years. Mine for sticking by you after the Wars. Mine for...nevermind. It's my fault and now I'm sick of paying for it. I'm leaving Squall. You can't change that." Squall scowled. She wasn't telling him the whole truth.

'_Who are you to object to her hiding things? Don't be a hypocrite! But...I don't want her to leave...I need her here...Why? It's just Fujin...' _It's just Fujin. That's why she wanted to leave. It occured to Squall that Fujin just might love him. That's why she stuck beside him no matter how he acted. _'But Seifer acted like that...not me...I **am** Seifer now...I did act like that...and Seifer loved her...So do I...'_For Squall this revelation was bittersweet. He didn't believe in love. He didn't want to love the woman he'd come to learn so much about over the past two weeks. But he did. And now she was leaving. Squall sighed and stepped close to her, blocking her exit. She glared at him, telling him to move.

"No. I'm not letting you go like this." Squall was very nearly afraid to be so close, to know that he loved her. But he couldn't let her leave. Instead he put his arms around her, and pulled her close to him, feeling her sudden intake of breath. Her eye shone with fear, desire and anger. Squall closed the gap between their lips and Fujin nearly collapsed. She'd wanted to kiss him for so long, but he never looked at her in that way. She was his best friend, nothing more. That wasn't going to change. His tongue meet hers and her resolve weakend. For the moment. Fujin let the kiss last a few moments longer and then shoved him away.

"Don't kid yourself. We both know your just afraid of being alone.Again." The icinessin her words chilled the air long after she'd left Squall standing in the empty parking lot.

A.n: Omg! She's leaving?! What _will _we do?! Bwahahaah!!!!! Ok this chapter didn't turn out quite like I wanted but look at the bright side...I updated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Woot! **Selphiefan:**Yay! You like!!! That makes me happy.......any suggestions? Reviews all you other readers!!!!!!

i Ultimate!


	6. Driving Me Under

**_Chapter Six _**---**_Driving Me Under_**

Squall stood out in the chilly night for a long while, staring at the ground. She was gone. He hadn't been able to stop her and she was gone. It was his fault. The entire mess was his fault. Squall didn't bother going back to Garden to beg her stay. She would already be gone and if she wasn't, she'd already handed in her reassignment forms and insisted on leaving. Instead he went back into the club and ordered a drink.

"Sq-squall?" A tiny voice called out. Selphie. Blue eyes meet green and Selphie looked at her feet.

"I'm sorry Squall. I told Quistis and Rinoa you would be here. I didn't think they would take things that far honest-" Squall cut her off.

"It's not your fault its mine. Has been for a long time." Selphie just sat next to him a while and sighed. Raijin sat next to her, worried.

When Fujin was gone, Squall had always gotten edgy and snappish. Everything set him off and he wouldn't calm down until she was home. Of course, he_ still_ didn't calm down and he lit off on her and then stormed out of the room only to come back two hours later and apologize. What would happen now that Fujin was gone for good?

"I'm going home." Squall announced, getting up, swaying a bit. The bartender looked worried. Squall had had abouteight or ten drinks in the time he came in.

'I'll take him home." Selphie offered.

---

"GO AWAY!!!" Squall screamed. Selphie was clearly frightened and huddled in the corner. Squall was drunk and angry. Already there were several dents in the wall and a few broken lamps. Raijin grabbed the man and threw him onto the couch and helped Selphie back to her room.

"He misses her, ya know?"

"Yea...it's sad...I think they both loved each other." Raijin nodded.

"They did." And with that, he bid her goodnight. Raijin made sure Squall would be alright by himself and set out to find Fujin. Of course, she's left her old adress with him if he ever wanted to find her. However, he knew that if he told Squall, he wouldn't live much longer.

---

The small house was dark and smelled of cedar. The rain outside was falling in a torrential downpour and Fujin was sopping wet. With and angry growl she flung her first suitcase into the house and carefully set the other down by the door before tearing the house apart. Rage was consuming her as she overturned the table and flung chairs into the wall. All of the glasses and plates were smashed into a million, sparkling smitherns on the floor and so the destruction continued until the only thing left standing was the couch and the bed in the other room.

Fujin went into the bathroom and slid down the wall, the tears that were hiding behind her eyes finally betraying her and spilling over. Rage was gone and the only thing left was the overwhleming saddness. She heard the front door click shut and she silently crept out of the bathroom, fully prepared to tear the intruder from limb to limb.

"Raijin?" She said softly and the man took one look at the living room, then at her and took two long strides and wrapped her into his large arms.

"Oh Fuj...it's alright ,you know? It's gonna be alright." Fujin was surprised by this show of concern but she soon found herself with her own small arms wrapped around him, crying steadily. A faint glimmer surrounded the room, but neither noticed it untill suddenly, everything was gone.

---

"Squall." Squall ignored the voice the was echoing in the room.

"SQUALL!!!" Squall sat up with a jolt and looked around. A shadowy figure stood at the foot of his bed.

"Who are you?"

"I am Hyne...I'm also the reason your in Seifer's shoes. To show you something you needed to know. But you still couldn't see it. So you have a choice now Squall. To go back to the way things were, or to stay here, have this life." Squall thought. Fujin hated him and was never coming back. He himself was a mess without her and took out his rage on Raijin. It wouldn't be far to Raijin.

"I want my old life back." He said coldly and Hyne mentally shook his head. Squall didn't know what he was doing didn't only affect him.

"Very well."

_Images of the Wars, of the posse, the orphanage, of his father, Fujin's mother beating, nearly losing Fujin in a mission gone wrong , flashed through his mind. All the pain Seifer had ever felt was now suffocating him. An image of Fujin's bright smile chased all the pain and darkness away and filled him with an odd sense of hope. But when that image faded, all the fear and hate coursed through him with a painfully sharp bite._

_---_

_"Fujin! What happened?" Seifer's voice rang in her ears as she looked around the barren landscape. She turned to find the blonde running towards her and wrapping his arms around her in a hug just as Raijin had done a few moments ago._

_"Seifer? What's going on?" Seifer shrugged his shoulders and placed a kiss on her forward. Hyne, it was good to have her back, not having to pretend as if he hated her. Whatever had gone on, he knew that he and Squall had switched places. But what happened to end that? He didn't know._

_"You are being returned to your rightful places." Hyne stood before them. Fujin looked at him from within Seifer's arms. She didn't know it, but her heart shattered into a million fragmented pieces._

_"I am sorry for causing such trouble in your lives." With that he was gone and so was everything else, disappearing into a bright flash of light._

_---_

"Hey Fuu! Wake up!! Lunch time!!!" Seifer's happy voice cut through her sleep and she sat up. It did feel good to be back in with Seifer the Raijin just like old times. But something inside missed being with Squall.

"Yes! Our tables still here, ya know?" Raijin said, a big grin on his features. Fujin noticed Selphie turn to look at the big man and then blush before looking away. The group sat at their regular table and Fujin sighed. The old routine would be good for her. Right?

"Not still thinking about Commander Boy are you?" Seifer asked quietly and Fujin simply sighed and turned away from him, looking out at the lunch room to the window. However her eyes caught sight of Squall's and she didn't know she glared at him before looking away.

_'So it really is the same as before. She hates me and I'm supposed to hate her. Them.What if I went over and made my peace...would that have any affect at all?' _Squall wondered to himself, ignoring Rinoa's blabbering in his ear. Suddenly he got up and walked to the Posse's table.

Seifer's green eyes very nearly tore a hole through his entire being. Raijin's usually friendly contenance was deteriorating and Fujin had not looked back at him. Slowly, he enxtended his right hand towards Seifer. Fujin turned back and looked on in surprise.

" Seifer."

A.n: Hahaha cliffy!!!!!**Ultimate XDeath: **Woohoo!! I'm soo glad you liked!!! Hope you liked this chappy!!! To all my other reviewers!! I love you !!!-blows kisses- heheh REVIEW!!!!

i Ultimate !


	7. The Past Reminds Us

**_Chapter Seven_**---**_The Past Reminds Us_**

All was silent as Seifer stared at the pale hand enxtended in front of him. Fujin was, needless to say, completely shocked. This wasn't something she expected. Did he remember? She searched his eyes but he didn't look at her.

"Squall. Sit...can't be much fun with that air-head Rinoa." Squall allowed a ghost of a smile to grace his lips and Fujin looked at her lap for a few minutes. Here he was again. Sitting right beside her, yet so far away. So untouchable. It was then she knew she'd been wrong to lose the contest in whatever time frame Hyne had put them in. She'd been wrong to deny the love that had been burning in her heart ever since Squall had saved her life.

--- Flash Back---

"SEIFER!!!" Fujin's grip on the ledge was slipping steadily and her left arm couldn't not help her now. It was broken, the bone protruded nastily from the skin and the wind burned like Hyne himself. Unwanted tears streamed down her face. She didn't want to go like this. Seifer's green eye were saddened and helpless. A look that did not belong on the face of the great Seifer Almasy. He couldn't save her. It was taking all his strength and both hands to hang onto Raijin.

Fujin closed her eyes. She would not be scared. But niether did she want to see the end. A deep breath was taken in and she left go. She waited for impact but it never came. Fujin opened her eyes to meet ice blue orbs. Squall's hand was gripping hers tightly, an odd emotion swirling around in his orbs. Seifer watched the two with relief. She was safe now and thats all he wanted. He hauled Raijin up and ran over to where Fujin lay beside Squall.

"Fuu? Fuu are you alright?" Fujin looked up at him, a small smile on her lips. She was just as strong as before. Never afraid, never any less then she'd ever been. Squall looked at her, a mental checklist repeating over in his mind, making sure she didn't collapse from trauma or shock. Fujin met his gaze and nodded. Silent thanks. He nodded back and helped her stand. That's when she realized it. Seifer kept her safe but Squall would save her.

---End---

"Fuu? Fuu, you alright? You look like you've seen Hyne." Seifer commented and Squall's heartbroke at the fallen look on her face. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her it was ok. He remembered and he loved her still. He'd always loved her, he'd just been to stubborn and arrogant to admit it.

---Flashback---

" Fujin?" Fujin whirled to face Squall. Her eye narrowed and her entire body stiffened.

"NEED. WHAT." Squall sighed.

"Where's Seifer?" Fujin scowled.

"Leave him alone. Haven't you caused enough trouble in our lives? Just leave us alone!" Squall saw the fiery sadness in her eye and he looked away. The anguish you could see in her soul was too much.

"I'm not here to make more trouble..."

"Really? You seem to be good at that." Squall frowned.

"Why are you getting angry at me? I haven't done anything yet!"

"Yet! You always manage to screw things up for us! It was just starting to go alright again and then you come along and suddenly Seifer disappears!" Fujin caught her mistake to late. She growled and turned away from him.

"Where did he go?" Silence.

"Fujin...you can't protect him from the world. He's all grown up now." Fujin turned to face him, tears threatning to fall.

"I don't have to protect him from the world. Just you." With that she walked away. He didn't know it, but it took every ounce of self-respect and strength she had to walk away from him that day. She would not betray Seifer to this man who would only tear him down more then Ultimecia had done. She would not go back to the old life to face the man she loved.

---End---

"FINE. TIRED." Fujin got up and walked away, hugging herself tightly. Seifer frowned and turned to Squall. They couldn't be the only ones who remembered. He _had _to remember.

"You've gotta go make things right, ya know?" Raijin told him softly and Squall's surprised face was more then enough assurance he did remember. Seifer nodded solemnly at him and Squall got up, following the girl.

"Fujin? Fuu!" Fujin whirled around to face him. How_ dare_ he call her that privileged name? Squall stopped dead in his tracks.

"I just want to talk." Fujin turned away from him, her nails digging into her palms.

"I have nothing to say to you Squall. Leave me be." She heard the sound of his foot steps creeping closer to her and try as she might, she could not make herself yell at him to leave her alone.

"I'm sorry Fuu...I am. I never meant to hurt you...I..." Fujin slowly turned around, pain in her crimson orb.

"You were right. I am afraid of being alone...but it's not just being alone...its being alone without you...I love you Fujin...I think I always have." A single tear escaped against her will. Squall took a chance and stepped closer to her, reaching out a tentative hand.

"I thought I hated you...but I was wrong...I told myself I did because I was afraid you'd laugh in my face and then you'd be gone just like everyone else." Fujin reached out and took his hand firmly, yet still soft and gentle.

"I'm still here Squall. I've always been _right_ **here**. I won't go anywhere." Squall pulled her to him suddenly and held her tightly. Fujin was startled at first but soon found her arms wrapped around him as well. Squall stepped back slightly and looked at her with a smile. Fujin found it in her heart to truly smile at him. The kinda that lit her eyes and face into a happy glow. Before either knew it happened, they found their lips together in a soft, hungry kiss.

A.n: Woohoo!!! Another update! Be proud of me! School was cancelled today oh baby!!!!! rawr har!!! ok my lovelies REVIEW!!!!!!!!!

i Ultimate ! you know you love me!


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